Review: My Next Breath by Jeremy Renner

Synopsis

On January 1, 2023, actor Jeremy Renner was run over by his snowcat, a truck-sized vehicle designed to plow deep snow. Miraculously, he survived. In this memoir, he tells the harrowing story of the accident and his long road to recovery.

My Review

Full disclosure: I’m a huge MCU fan (MCU = the Marvel Cinematic Universe, for the uninitiated). Jeremy Renner has played Clint Barton, known as Hawkeye, in the MCU since 2011, and he has also appeared in several other movies I love (and shows – looking at you, The Unusuals!), so I feel like I can call myself a fan. Maybe a casual fan, but still. When I heard about his horrific accident that fateful New Year’s Day, it really shook me. I thought for sure that nobody could actually survive something like that. And when he not only survived but healed at record-breaking speed, I was brought to joyful tears more than once by his recovery videos. The man is a true inspiration.

However… I was kind of disappointed in this memoir. First of all, it didn’t really offer much extra information than we already had from his social media posts and interviews. Second of all, it was very repetitive and preachy at times, almost as though he were treating each chapter as a standalone read and had to be sure you were getting his inspiring message. Thirdly, it didn’t really paint Jeremy Renner in the greatest light, in my opinion.

The extra information

I listened to the audiobook, which I’m not sure whether to recommend or not. I’m very picky about audiobook narration, and I wouldn’t call Renner a great narrator by any means. Still, that’s understandable. He’s talking about things he’d probably rather not talk about, and he points out near the end of the book that talking still causes him pain. I don’t understand why he didn’t get someone else to narrate it, but at times it did improve the stilted writing to hear the emotion in his voice. What really blew my mind was that they used audio of the real 911 call of his accident. It was unsettling to hear the terrified voices of his neighbours and nephew, and to hear Renner himself groaning for breath. I wasn’t prepared for that level of trauma, to be honest. I’d just eaten my dinner!

I did enjoy the parts about his earlier life that explained how he’d come to this point. I don’t just mean literally how he came to be clearing snow from his driveway that morning, but how he’d learned to overcome fear and to breathe through pain, which were abilities that saved his life in that excruciating hour-long wait for the ambulance. There was also a lot about his family life that might be new information to most, and while at times he repeats the word “love” to the point of becoming saccharine, you could hear in his voice that his words about them were genuine. Beyond that, though, it’s pretty much the same story he’s already told.

The sermon

Here’s where most people will disagree with me, and that’s fine… but too many times while reading this book I felt like I was being preached at rather than simply told the story of his personal experiences. His story is truly miraculous and inspiring, nobody can deny that. But as I said above, it felt like in every single chapter he was trying to deliver the message that “you can overcome fear, you can overcome fear, look at how often I’ve done it, and it saved my life!!”

As a person who has suffered from severe panic disorder since I was a little kid, I kinda get sick of it when someone who has experienced miraculous healing tries to tell me that that’s a universal experience. It isn’t. That’s why we call them miracles! Not everyone can face their fears and overcome fear forever. Trust me, I’ve tried. My brain doesn’t work that way. I’m happy for him that his does! But please stop preaching at me, bro. 😅

Not the greatest light

That brings me to my final problem with this memoir – the things about Renner’s personality that he maybe shouldn’t have let us know. He talks several times about the “Renner talks” he gives to friends and family where he tells them directly about their faults. He talks about these gentle confrontations as though he’s a magnanimous being sent to Earth to reveal each person’s true selves to them and let them know what they need to fix. I’m sorry, but I wouldn’t react well to someone giving me a “Renner talk.” Personally, I think someone needs to give Renner a Renner talk and tell him he’s a bit controlling. I honestly don’t think he realizes how it sounds.

His habit of trying to control people and mend their faults explains the preaching, honestly. It feels like he’s trying to fix the reader by gently confronting them about fear and telling them to just… not be afraid anymore. If I had a nickel for every time someone has tried to fix me by saying that, I’d be as rich as he is.

Conclusion

Wow, this ended up a lot rantier than I intended. I apologize. My Next Breath is a heartfelt memoir about an extremely traumatic event, and for the most part it’s an inspiring read. I just wonder if he should have waited another year or two to write it from more of a hindsight perspective. Perhaps then his message wouldn’t have felt so urgent or his emotions so raw that they’d take over the whole memoir.

You can buy My Next Breath here on Bookshop.org*
*As an affiliate, I will receive a small commission from any purchase made through this link.